Circles

Well:

It's all there in front of my eyes.
Produce, lag, get new opp and repeat.

Business is there, people want to give me their money and all I have to do is do but I am so lazy now and it takes so much to get me going it is ridiculous. They are patient because I get solid results but I am tired of my flaws and how I have gone in circles with the same decisions for my entire life.

Acting: Has never had issues. The concerns disappear and I deliver like nothing else I have ever attempted. It is a challenge to deliver on a directors vision once you are hired. At a certain point it is out of your hands but you still need to know your lines and your character, once the camera starts rolling it is all on the production. You either deliver or you dont. Perspectives are so elusive all you can do is what you are told and leave the rest to them.

In home now, still crashing or should I say squatting a beautiful - but filthy - home with ceiling fans abound. It's a little scary but it is a home and it is safe and now I need to work so I can save and go to LA.

I have two clients and got two emails today, I think I have a partner in a start up but it is due diligence time and we'll see how that goes.

It's all there, now what am I going to do?

Ugh

Well, looks like Crate Time is going to be produced soon.
I've resorted to producing and directing so I can get some action on screen.

I think it will be a funny and entertaining show, well see.

My head really hurts, room mate chopped wood today, I guess he thought I wasn't downstairs underneath the cutting block, as my head pounds.

It is difficult to think at times since the beating, difficult to do a lot of things but a bi product is that I can be really focused although it appears that I am out of it and close to drooling.

Some day I will face Warren again and i am not sure what I will do when it happens.

Hit

One hit the quiet key board player thinks to himself as he walks down the avenue.
What would I do for one hit song?
Would I achieve greatness in my eyes comparable to the strengths of others?
Would I be satiated knowing that at one moment I would be at the zenith of my career or would I be eager to overcome challenges that are new that will take me to new heights he thinks to himself as we walks down the avenue.

Ones quest differs so much as do lives when loved ones turn corners that I can't help wonder what it is that I want to do and am I ever going to do it.

I get most things that I want, now I need to figure out why I want them.
To prosper or flail.

To industrious to quit, to stubborn to quit must I strive for heights that I have not seen?

To do otherwise is a shame but I wish I new how this ends.

COCO

Drinking hot organic Coco in my new down stairs room.
I have always wanted a ceiling fan and now after many years not only do I have a room but I have a ceiling fan.

The house of course is in forclosure but we are here for the long haul.

This is my first night inside, I have been sleeping in a tent and after last nights rain it was my time to "slide" inside.

Before the rain the neighbors kitten and I met.

She was left out side and was crying, I live in the mountains so it took a bit to find one another but once we did she was stuck to me like a long lost friend.

To the tent, through the redwoods, inside the upstairs room and down the stairs to the yard she was everywhere. I believe that animals should always be able to go out side or inside at their discretion so the tent was left open and she came and went.

When she finally laid down it was on my neck and cheek, of all places I expected her to lye down that was the last. I figured she broke out and had never slept on a blanket or ten, but her warmth was appreciated.

She followed me inside when the rain was to hard and I was in a home for the first time in a while.

I'm close to filming my first short movie, I have some locals that I feel will be good charactors and I have placed them in good roles after some thought. My goal is to complete on short and post it, after that we'll see what happens.

I started acting recently and I was in 18 movies in 12 months.
I want more screen experience but I think I would be a good director but again all I want to do is finish and deliver copies to the cast and crew.

You see many directors will get you to work for them for free by telling you they'll give you footage for your reel and you can use the reel to send out to more jobs. The problem is that some don't send it and I can't stand flakes.

I worked with Jennifer Anniston, Steve Zahn, David Ogden Stiers, Michael Humpreys and Chris Serrone. All big stars but I think I have a shot and I was not impressed by all of them but I'll keep who I thought went through the motions to my self.

But, I will say that persons lame attempt to earn their money was my motivator in the beginning, that and the -literally- 80 foot long table of food.
My motives have changed a lot as I gained experience but I'll say it is a great creative channel for me.

Today I worked doing business development and was productive.
Good to get results, after that I failed at hitch hiking and took the bus.

I got coffee at the local pot shop and there must have been fifty dollars in huge roaches on the table out of the rain left as gifts to the unfortunate.

After that I got some phone wires for the internet in my new room, got some food and hitch hiked home.

I watched a band for a few minutes tune their instruments. I try not to listen to live music as my ears hurt but I was struck at how beautiful the sounds meshed as each musician tuned their instruments to the rythoms in their mind.

I am going to use one of the musicians in a short movie and I just wanted to check him out but I think I will use some of the sounds I heard tonight in the beginning of the film.

Its difficult to explain what the goal is but I think multiple instruments being tuned will sound very nice in the right environment.

So, I just downed my organic coco and it is late.
Weighed a bag of pot I found tonight, I've been sitting on it for a couple of weeks.
3.5 ounces of california, northern california cush.
It would be nice to trade it for some food or other but for now I go to sleep feeling almost in charge of my life.

There are a lot of things going on that I haven't mentioned but it will take me a while to wake up from the last couple of years and be as productive and informative as I can be.

Tatiana

Sitting next to this beautiful dog, Tatiana.
Her owner keeps her in her room a lot and I like to let her out and take her for walks.

I just moved into this house, I currently live in a tent and just got on line tonight.
There is a lower house that my friends have broken into and are know living in.

There are two rooms down stairs, one with a ceiling fan - my favorite - but I don't feel comfertable just yet breaking into a house that was just filled with tweakers.

My friends went in to early and cleaned up the house, I guess the old residents thought the rental company cleaned it up, so he did nothing, or he hasn't done anything yet.

The property is in forclosure but we need a place to stay, and if I wasn't invited to live in a tent in the wilderness I would be sleeping by a river, cold and homeless.

I moved here a few months ago. I moved in with an ex business partner. I invested 5k, loaned him 1500 and worked for him, for free, for over a year.

When I moved in things were pretty good. Once I realized that he was in fact certified looney via his actions I was pretty much held hostage.

I moved her from Portland Oregon. I was there for five years and pretty much had a very challenging time, however my last 18 months there I got into acting. I was in 18 movies, some voice overs, corporate videos, print and some extra work. All told 39 jobs.

So the qwest is of course to get to LA. But first I need to save some money.
Hopefully I can get my businesses to generate money so I can get there but it is very challenging now.

I think the economy is perfect, where there is chaos there is opportunity.

I'm pursuing and getting jobs, business development jobs.

There is also - Im in CA - a ton of pot around here. It is a modern day gold rush.

I always stayed away from selling pot when I grew up and lived here but it has been legal now for 10 years. You smell it everywhere but I don't want to be a drug dealer, legal or not.

Perhaps there is a product or service I could provide that would be legal and generate some money.

So:

That's the first entry of an overdue blog, I have had many adventures lately and after being dormant for over a decade it is my time and it is my time to get what I believe can be mine.

Challenge is I have little money but I have a labor job tomorrow and some marketing via telecommuting we see what the next step brings.

Tatiana is now crowding me with a chewed up tennis ball, she tosses it to me but it rolls off of me as I am typing, time to toss the ball for my new free friend.